October 11 is National Coming Out Day! First observed in 1988, National Coming Out Day recognizes the importance of LGBTQ+ visibility in the fight against hate. While it’s not safe for all LGBTQ+ people to be out, and coming out is a very personal decision that is up to each individual to navigate, there’s power in being visible and sharing our authentic selves with the world. Acknowledging, honoring, and sharing LGBTQ+ stories is another important way to work against hate. And “coming out” is something that can happen at any age, and at multiple times in someone’s life. Life is a journey and the labels someone uses may change with time and that’s all valid. No matter where you are on your coming out journey or your allyship journey, here are coming out stories to celebrate National Coming Out Day.
Arthur & Teddy Are Coming Out by Ryan Love. No one in the family is prepared when 79-year-old Arthur Edwards drops a bombshell: he’s gay, and after a lifetime in the closet, he’s finally ready to come out. Arthur’s 21-year-old grandson, Teddy, has the same secret. But Teddy doesn’t feel ready to come out yet – especially when Arthur’s announcement causes shockwaves in the family. Can Arthur and Teddy navigate first loves, heartbreak, and finding their place in their community?
The Fixed Stars by Molly Wizenberg. At age 36, while serving on a jury, author Molly Wizenberg found herself drawn to a female attorney she hardly knew. Married to a man for nearly a decade and mother to a toddler, Wizenberg tried to return to her life as she knew it, but something inside her had changed irrevocably. Instead, she would discover that the trajectory of our lives is rarely as smooth or as logical as we’d like to believe.
Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic by Alison Bechdel. Distant and exacting, Bruce Bechdel was an English teacher and director of the town funeral home, which Alison and her family referred to as the “Fun Home.” It was not until college that Alison, who had recently come out as a lesbian, discovered that her father was also gay. A few weeks after this revelation, he was dead, leaving a legacy of mystery for his daughter to resolve.
Gender Euphoria: Stories of Joy from Trans, Non-Binary, and Intersex Writers. So often the stories shared by trans people about their transition centre on gender dysphoria: a feeling of deep discomfort with their birth-assigned gender, and a powerful catalyst for coming out or transitioning. But for many non-cisgender people, it’s gender euphoria which pushes forward their transition: the joy the first time a parent calls them by their chosen name, the first time they have the confidence to cut their hair short, the first time they truly embrace themself. In this ground-breaking anthology, nineteen trans, non-binary, agender, gender-fluid and intersex writers share their experiences of gender euphoria.
¡Hola Papi!: How to Come Out in a Walmart Parking Lot and Other Life Lessons by John Paul Brammer. In ¡Hola Papi!, JP shares his story of growing up biracial and in the closet in America’s heartland, while attempting to answer some of life’s toughest questions: How do I let go of the past? How do I become the person I want to be? Is there such a thing as being too gay? Should I hook up with my grade school bully now that he’s out of the closet? Questions we’ve all asked ourselves, surely. With wit and wisdom in equal measure, ¡Hola Papi! is for anyone–gay, straight, and everything in between–who has ever taken stock of their unique place in the world, offering considered advice, intelligent discourse, and fits of laughter along the way.
Juliet Takes a Breath by Gabby Rivera. Juliet Milagros Palante is a self-proclaimed closeted Puerto Rican baby dyke from the Bronx. Only, she’s not so closeted anymore. Not after coming out to her family the night before flying to Portland, Oregon, to intern with her favorite feminist writer–what’s sure to be a life-changing experience. And when Juliet’s coming out crashes and burns, she’s not sure her mom will ever speak to her again. But Juliet has a plan–sort of. Her internship with legendary author Harlowe Brisbane, the ultimate authority on feminism, women’s bodies, and other gay-sounding stuff, is sure to help her figure out this whole “Puerto Rican lesbian” thing. Except Harlowe’s white. And not from the Bronx. And she definitely doesn’t have all the answers . . .
Out!: A Parent’s Guide to Supporting Your LGBTQIA+ Kid Through Coming Out and Beyond by John Sovec. The coming out process for LGBTQIA+ adolescents can be a terrifying moment, not only for themselves, but also for their family and friends. When intense emotions are running the gamut of concern, shock, joy or even anger and acceptance, it can be tricky to process how you feel while giving your child the support they need. Offering essential guidance and advice, this book is here to help you with chapters that explore LGBTQIA+ terminology, understanding the coming out process, effective communication strategies, talking to your LGBTQIA+ kid about sex, the parents’ process of acceptance, and the family coming out process.
A Tale of Two Omars: A Memoir of Family, Revolution, and Coming Out During the Arab Spring by Omar Sharif. The grandson of Hollywood royalty on his father’s side and Holocaust survivors on his mother’s, Omar Sharif Jr. learned early on how to move between worlds, from the Montreal suburbs to the glamorous orbit of his grandparents’s Cairo. His famous name always protected him wherever he went. When in the wake of the Arab Spring he made the difficult decision to come out in the pages of The Advocate, he knew his life would forever change. What he didn’t expect was the backlash that followed. From bullying, to illness, to attempted suicide, to becoming a victim of sex trafficking, to death threats by the thousands, to revolution and to be never being able to return to a country he once called home, Omar Sharif Jr. has overcome more challenges than one might imagine. Drawing on the lessons he learned from both sides of his family, A Tale of Two Omars charts the course of an iconoclastic life, revealing in the process the struggles and successes that attend a public journey of self-acceptance and a life dedicated in service to others.
Unashamed: A Coming-Out Guide for LGBTQ+ Christians by Amber Cantorna. On a daily basis, author and LGBTQ advocate Amber Cantorna receives emails asking the same question: How does one reconcile their sexuality with their faith? Depression, despair, and thoughts of suicide often haunt LGBTQ Christians as they feel unable to imagine the possibility of living a happy, fulfilling life as an LGBTQ person of faith. As the gay daughter of a thirty-plus-year executive of conservative Christian organization Focus on the Family, Amber lost everything when she came out as gay in 2012. However, her journey to embrace her authenticity brought her fulfillment and wisdom to share. Unashamed serves as a guide for Christians considering coming out, tackling tough subject matters such as demolishing internalized homophobia, finding an affirming faith community, reestablishing your worth as a child of God, navigating difficult family conversations (especially in cases where family is involved in church leadership/ministry), and healing from the pain of rejection. Unashamed encourages LGBTQ Christians to embrace their unique identities and to celebrate the diversity placed inside them by God.
Untamed by Glennon Doyle. Four years ago, Glennon Doyle–bestselling Oprah-endorsed author, renowned activist and humanitarian, wife and mother of three–was speaking at a conference when a woman entered the room. Glennon looked at her and fell instantly in love. Three words flooded her mind: There She Is. At first, Glennon assumed these words came to her from on high. Soon she realized that they came to her from within. Glennon was finally hearing her own voice–the voice that had been silenced by decades of cultural conditioning, numbing addictions, and institutional allegiances. This was the voice of the girl Glennon had been before the world told her who to be. She vowed to never again abandon herself. She decided to build a life of her own–one based on her individual desire, intuition, and imagination. She would reclaim her true, untamed self. Soulful and uproarious, forceful and tender, Untamed is both a memoir and a galvanizing wake-up call.
